I wish I could pull off wearing red lipstick and the cat eyeliner look.
I regret not paying enough attention in high school and taking it more seriously. I’m sure if I had I would have been in a better position than where I’m at right now.
I have a problem letting go.
I want to travel around the world for a year by myself.
I wouldn’t mind being a SG.
I sometimes wish I had pale skin with freckles.
I want to learn Ariel-hoop when I can afford it. Along with pole dancing, Ariel-fabric dancing and just dancing in general. I am body awkward and don’t really know how to move myself in a way that I like. I sort of just flail about.
I wish I was someone important. That I had a real significance to the world, that I brought something really special to the table. I hate feeling so small in this world, knowing that I don’t really matter that much.
I sometimes like to pretend in sophisticated and drink sparkling drinks from fancy wine glasses…
I’ve been thinking for awhile now that maybe what I need is to just go someplace else and start over. But I fear that since I’ve been having so many problems here that I won’t make it wherever I happen to go. I also have a hard time with the idea of leaving Bruce and a lot of my friends behind…But at the same time I’m starting to think that maybe it’s what I have to do anyway.
I want to have a more accepting, uplifting, and fun personality. I’m just not sure how to go about doing this. I know it’s all about letting go and being care free, but I just don’t know how to do that exactly.
I wish I didn’t have my learning disability, and that there was something I could take to at least fix it. I’m not even sure what it is. But I know it’s their. I feel it would have made a world of a difference in who I could have been if I didn’t have it, and that perhaps I would have been better off as a person.
Sometimes I just want to take pictures of myself, hot ones, and then post them all over tumblr. But then I realize that I never have the house to myself and if someone were to talk in on me while I’m posing all over the place with my camera….It would be awkward…
I wish I could see how other people see me so that maybe I could appreciate myself and my body more than I do now. That maybe I can see how beautiful I truly am and believe it too.
I never know who to go to when I’m down because I feel as though I always burden people and that even if what I’m saying is such a small thing, they generally have no idea how big the physical an emotional impact it has on me. Nor do they realize how hard it is to describe whats wrong, what I’m feeling. There are no words. I feel this way all the time, I always feel that I don’t want to be here anymore. That I shouldn’t be here anymore. I have all these people that offer help to me, but I never end up knowing if I chose the right one to go to, or if they feel that’s the only reason I’m friends with them. So that’s why I kind of just…Keep it in, because I sometimes don’t even know whats wrong at the time, I just have this random depression thrust on me all the time and I can’t tell them anything.